It's been almost a year since I posted here. Time goes by so quickly these days. I guess I was caught up in work and life. There have been lots of ups and downs, mostly downs, in the last year. A mass was discovered in my left eye that has to be monitored every few months, probably for the rest of my life. Libby was diagnosed with Cushing's Disease. All of the fur babies are getting old. Heartbreak is inevitable.
Next month is the anniversary of a friend's suicide. It was many years ago, but every year around this time I remember and wonder why. Hearing the news about Robin Williams hit doubly hard. When I was younger, I wondered how people got to the point of suicide. I could understand it if someone was diagnosed with a debilitating, painful disease, but I couldn't understand why my friend, who was physically healthy, left a husband and three year old son behind.
My friend struggled within herself for years. There were previous attempts. Her seemingly happy life hid what was really going on. Apparently Robin Williams was in the early stages of Parkinson's Disease and had money problems, facts not known to the public until after his death. It's natural that we look for reasons when someone commits suicide. We can only guess. We can never really know.
I used to be chronically upbeat and optimistic. Life has a way of killing optimism. I understand now why people lose the strength to fight. I have not fully recovered from a series of losses that began in 2008. Now, every little disappointment seems tragic. I can't find the way to bounce back. I understand suicide better now than I did before. The fact is that none of us knows what someone else is dealing with. It's too bad we need a slap in the face to remember that.
