The NFL and Domestic Abuse

I love NFL football. I grew up watching the Chicago Bears every Sunday afternoon with my dad. Dad is gone, but I still love my Chicago Bears. And, I love the game. The strategy, the amazing athletic skills and the unbelievable comebacks - it's a way to escape every day life. Or, it should be. Nothing can keep the world out, however. Ray Rice and Adrian Peterson, two of the NFL's most gifted players, have used their considerable strength to injure physically weaker people they claim to love. I look back at players like Walter Payton, who rarely lost his composure even on the field, and wonder what happened. Roger Goodell, the NFL commissioner, initially gave Ray Rice a slap on the wrist, suspending him from playing in two games. Two games? The firestorm from that little act of stupidity is still burning strong. After a more graphic video of the punch Rice planted on his then fiancee's head causing her to lose consciousness was released, Goodell suspended him indefinitely. Enter reports and an arrest for Adrian Peterson who is accused of physically abusing his 4-year old son by using a switch to "discipline" him. Discover it's not the first time Peterson has been investigated for child abuse. What is wrong with these guys? I don't for a minute think that these two are the only players in the history of the NFL who engaged in violent behavior. I am sure there is a long, sad history of physical abuse. It's harder to sweep accusations, videos and confessions under the rug now. Everyone can see the Rice video. Everyone can read Peterson admitting he hit his child with a switch and read the police reports. The only up side I see to any of this is that the NFL is being forced to address the problems of domestic violence and child abuse within its ranks. It's about time.

A Question of Life

It's been almost a year since I posted here. Time goes by so quickly these days. I guess I was caught up in work and life. There have been lots of ups and downs, mostly downs, in the last year. A mass was discovered in my left eye that has to be monitored every few months, probably for the rest of my life. Libby was diagnosed with Cushing's Disease. All of the fur babies are getting old. Heartbreak is inevitable.

Next month is the anniversary of a friend's suicide. It was many years ago, but every year around this time I remember and wonder why. Hearing the news about Robin Williams hit doubly hard. When I was younger, I wondered how people got to the point of suicide. I could understand it if someone was diagnosed with a debilitating, painful disease, but I couldn't understand why my friend, who was physically healthy, left a husband and three year old son behind.

My friend struggled within herself for years. There were previous attempts. Her seemingly happy life hid what was really going on. Apparently Robin Williams was in the early stages of Parkinson's Disease and had money problems, facts not known to the public until after his death. It's natural that we look for reasons when someone commits suicide. We can only guess. We can never really know.

I used to be chronically upbeat and optimistic. Life has a way of killing optimism. I understand now why people lose the strength to fight. I have not fully recovered from a series of losses that began in 2008. Now, every little disappointment seems tragic. I can't find the way to bounce back. I understand suicide better now than I did before. The fact is that none of us knows what someone else is dealing with. It's too bad we need a slap in the face to remember that.

Are You a True Animal Lover?

According to the American Pet Products Association, there are pets in 72.9 millions homes in the United States. A staggering number, that's a whopping 62% of all homes in the U.S. People love living with dogs, cats, rabbits, birds, fish and assorted other animals.

The physical and mental health benefits of owning pets are many. Dog and cat owners often remark on the unconditional love they receive from their pets. Your pet doesn't care if you wake up with bad breath. They love you anyway. Health benefits include everything from reducing blood pressure, quicker surgery recoveries and fewer trips to the doctor to lowered allergy risks in children. It's no wonder pets play such an important role in the lives of many.

To be a true animal lover, however, is to be a breed apart. Most people love their pets but true animal lovers take their devotion to another level. Are you a true animal lover? Here are 10 ways to find out:

1. Your cupboard is full of gourmet food - for the dog. You eat boxed macaroni and cheese.

2. Your cat sneezes and you rush her to the vet. You have the flu for 8 weeks and wait it out.

3. You wake up in the middle of the night to discover you have a dog sleeping on your legs and a cat on your chest. Yes, breathing is difficult but you'll live.

4. You know the names of each of your neighbor's dogs but not the names of their kids.

5.  You spend hours scheduling play dates for the dog.

6.  You sleep soundly for four hours but wake up with a start. You realize the cat has not made an appearance in all that time. You jump out of bed, grab the flashlight and look everywhere for her. You finally find her snoring softly in the easy chair.

7.  Your dog is prepared for any weather: a sweater for those cool fall days, a rain suit for April showers and a parka for December's snow.

8. The cat meows and you talk to him. Your spouse speaks and you don't even notice.

9.  You love to try new dog treat recipes. You taste each one yourself before offering it to the dog, just to make sure it comes up to your high standards.

10. When you shop for a new living room chair, you look for one wide enough to accommodate you AND your pets. Anything less is unacceptable.

If you do all of the above, you are a true-blue animal lover. Count yourself among the elite.

A Not Forgotten Life

Our mailbox sits on the side of the road. It's battered, probably from being hit by snow plows, passing cars and maybe even a baseball bat. Kids do that to mailboxes in the country sometimes. Dented as it is, it still serves its purpose. Each day, I walk out to get the junk mail, catalogs and occasional useful mailing.

One day last week, I walked out to get the mail and saw a small bird on the road. Dead, it had either flown into or was hit by car. It hadn't been there earlier, when the dogs and I went for our walk. In the hour before, its life had come to an end.

Coming back to the house, I planned to get a shovel and move the bird off the road. I put the mail on the table and started out the door when a loud boom of thunder sounded and the rain began. I didn't go back out.

It wasn't until the next morning when I went to the mailbox again that I saw the bird was gone. Not a trace remained. Perhaps one of nature's scavengers helped the rain clean up. We'll never know.

I mourned for the little bird. I hoped it had a happy life. I realized that if the timing had been different, its death would have remained a secret. No one would have felt a sense of loss. Or celebrated its life. But, I knew. This one little bird will not be forgotten.

Dealing with Loss

One of my favorite expressions used to be "Well, at least nobody died." Things were bad, sure, but it could always be worse, right? I can't even say that anymore. In the last five years, I have lost a beautiful cat and both of my parents. Other traumatic events, that feel like deaths, have occurred. I left a home and area I loved and moved to a new place with hopes for the future. Slowly but surely, each of those hopes died. It seems like every time I crawl out of the hole, something else happens to throw me back in.

Skype is a wonderful invention. It enables me to talk face-to-face with a couple of very close friends. They, too, have gone through difficult times, but we bolster each other up during our video chats. It's almost as good as being in the same room. The fur babies are always with me, loving as ever. This is what gets me through the day.

Still, a spark lingers. Hope. It's still there, it's just harder to find.

A Normal Winter Seems Abnormal Somehow

Yep. it's snowing again. This snow has a different consistency than those before. This one is a slushy, sloppy mess. The kind of snow you usually get this time of year. The kind that freezes overnight and makes the path to the bird feeder the next morning an icy adventure. This seems like one very long winter.

To tell the truth, it's not longer than normal. It just seems that way. I have apparently gotten used to those mild winters of recent years. Normal doesn't seem normal anymore, it just seems long. It's difficult to believe now that I was excited to see the first snow last fall. I was. I love the change of seasons; the new beginnings. It's the endings that are hard.

A Winter Muse

Is it because it's January? Too many dark, gray days. The holiday season behind us. Not much to look forward to in the coming weeks.

Is it the age? Another birthday coming up. Middle age pushing towards "senior." Hmmmmm....

What's the restlessness, the not feeling settled, the loss of passion about what I do? What's this longing to do something important, something that makes a difference? It's always been there, but the feeling is more urgent these days.

How to begin? How to find what's missing? Is it because it's January?